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going crazy on the internet for the whole world to see!

hey woah! happy freaking pride month everyone it's been an interesting couple of days! but i love that it is june now because it is summer and i can frolic and also that means there's only a month until i get to see my awesome boyfriend! many joyous things in store this summer i'm very excited

i mentioned last time how i was going to the lake with my friends on tuesday but i got like horrendously sick. well! it's just a cold but i get like awful colds. i get so feverish and weak and shaky and i hate it i had to cancel both occupational therapy and my regular therapy this week! it sucks!

nevertheless i hope i'm doing better by friday night. my friends and i are going to see alaska! like the drag performer! i am SO geeked she's like one of my favs everrrr and overall we get to see some local drag artists too which i always love to go out and support. i love drag events!

my birthday's in july (july 1 specifically!) and i will be turning 20. woah that's a big one! i don't like the idea of growing up especially when i'm too disabled currently to like... work and go to school. i would like to so so bad but it's just not in the cards for me right now. i'm planning on applying for disability soon but like damn... for a program that's labelled to help disabled people it sure is like the least accessible process ever bro :sob: but at least i have the support to make the process smoother it's just a whole lot.

buuutttt speaking of birthdays i mentioned this in the beginning but i get to see my boyfriend for my (and his technically-- we're only 4 days apart) birthday! i'm sooo geeked i've never actually like met anyone ive met online before irl which is crazy cuz ive had so many online friendships over the years but now i'm an adult and i think long distance when you're almost 20 years old is way different than long distance when i was like. fourteen. overall i'm so so SOO excited herbert and i have been together officially for a little over 8 months now i think? but we were kinda just Like that for at least a month before without the label :sob:

BUT YES!!! lots of exciting things i hope this month goes smoothly because i feel like the last kinda sucked. but may always kinda sucks for me cuz it's my trauma month. happy pride month once again heres the awesome art me and my friends (herbert, router, posse, ciel, leafie, and yui) all did for pride month for our little roleplay stuffs

yes! have a very joyous and happy day everyone i plan on working on this fuck ass website more soon once i'm feeling less ill. YAY!!

hiya WOOOAHHH!!! awesome bloggy stuff! this whole website thing has been a whole lotta to figure out! i don't do a whole lotta coding outside of toyhouse profiles nowadays... i had to rely a whole lot on my carrd knowledge from 2020 :sob: so it took a good second and a whole lotta resources. but like!! wow there's a whole lotta resources to look at it's really awesome!

that's like a big goal with this site too aside from just like... wanting my own space i also just want to get much better with this whole coding stuff! i think i am doing a pretty alright job for my first time coding a site in like. years. it feels good!! accomplishing!

anyways more personal rambles here because it's been a really rough couple of days. hydroxyzine is both awful and wonderful at the same time ... like it gives me crazy horrific dreams and shit but it's keeping me from completely losing it amidst everything that's been going on this past weekend.

my therapist referred me to EMDR therapy which would be like... the fourth therapist i see all at once. but that's okay whatever keeps me alive i guess. yeah that sucks

trying to find a silver lining though. i'm going out to the lake with my friends on tuesday so that's pretty nice at least. yeah. this is my cool blog! hope to see you all soon :p